Yeah if its work, I have put up with many obnoxious people, cos in that scenario, I have so many customers within and without the business, and the customer is always right. Eaten lots of humble pie.
But if it’s a voluntary or friendship situation, my tolerance for poor conduct is much less, because I can afford to disengage from a bullying or inappropriate relationship, with less consequential impacts.
With a job, there is so much more to think of. Bills to be paid.
Come to think of it - the bible speaks of being not equally yoked - i.e don’t run with people who are NOT on the same page with you, and this I think is where the challenge occurred with AP. For him this became a job, and a crusade, so his reasons for participating became so much more intense.
I’ve been in a recent scenario where I was putting in long days and long nights on a voluntary role, getting a bit frustrated by the lack of involvement of others, and their mediocre contributions. The cure for me was stepping back and recognising that each collaboration has by implication the limitations imposed by others which we have to accept. Some things I could have achieved in a week or two, have to wait for several months, cos I have to work through objections, resistance, and limitations in competencies, and it takes a while to get to know the other collaborators well.
The solution in this case, which was a voluntary audio and music role in church was to not stress over it, and channel more of my passion to projects outside of church which I could do predominantly almost on my own, not being limited by the weakest link. Still passionate about working with others, but recognising that in a group scenario, we can only put in a little bit of ourselves, but we have to leave so much room for others, cos its not about us.
I’m holding out hope that AP will be back. And the DT team can be gracious to let bygones be bygones.
Lots of lessons to learn from what happened here. If it’s very previous to you. you may need to go it alone, on that aspect of your aspirations, to give you ample space to put all your energies behind it. This is most likely AP’s 1st ever collab with anyone on open source. Hopefully it won’t be his last.