I will try to prove you wrong. 
It is a nice image, actually. Here is my take. Turned out better than I expected.
1. RawTherapee → AMaZE+VNG4 → pixel filters → Rec2020 linear → auto-matched curve → rotate and perspective → 32f (A).
2. gmic → L* D50 → reduce contrast ⇒ pnmclahe → local contrast (B).
3. gmic → append channels L* (B) and a*b* (A) → reduce chroma → increase contrast → sharpen → resize → zoom 100% to enjoy!
