This time I want to give my family a useful alternative to the above mentioned messenger app.
I am looking for something that can run on my raspberry 5 as a foss at home which is super easy to use and has apps for mobil devices.
There are options but the ones I saw are all paid. This would be acceptable if it was a small lump sum but nothing based on number of user etc.
Any advice is much appreciated.
I would just use Signal. It provides the same functionalities as WhatsApp and even has some āsocialā features like stories and so on.
This is for maximum security/privacy of course. There are alternatives for self hosted chats, like Matrix https://matrix.org/
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I like Signal, too. If you insist on paying āa small lump sumā: Threema (6 CHF/user, one-time purchase). You can self-host it, but then prepare for a large lump sum. 
Threema ā The Secure Messenger For Individuals and Companies ā Threema
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Great. I am using signal for such purposes too. What is the potential drawback? What is their business model? They give us a free, encrypted messenger service for 0 euro?
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Signal is living from donation.
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Yes, they live from donations and their business model is not that expensive to host and mantain as well.
The only user data they store is a timestamp of when the account was registered, so they have almost no storage fees. All they do is route messages to other users, thatās it.
Really? They allow video calls and voice calls. That should be very expensive. But what you suggest is: all data is only stored locally on the client device?
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they are mostly peer to peer.
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Thatās pretty much it. All messages, photos, videos etc people send you are only on your phone. Thatās why if you reset your phone you wonāt have any talk history or media
Interesting. So even if they are hacked, etc. not much is lost to the hackers? Plus, if they donāt know about what you are talking they cannot sell any information about that.
This should solve most of my issues.
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which also means when police or so come by and ask for data there isnt much they can give them.
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Since Skype closed down, all my contacts (family, colleagues, etc) there moved to Signal, mostly on my recommendation. I find it solid, there is a desktop client too.
Thatās why thereās so much effort to take down and censor these applications or persecute their developers if they donāt cooperate.
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The problem with shifting to Signal, in my caseā¦
Hundreds of contacts that use Whatsapp; one than uses Signal.
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I use āolvidā : thousands against one ;
and so what if you have dozens of real friends
I have been in this situation years before and tbh: I didnāt care. I informed all relevant contacts about the change and expected them to āsomehowā find a way to communicate with me if necessary. Be it via Signal or other communication methods like mail or SMS or - god forbid - a phone call.
Turns out to be a good decision: I somehow live peacefully since then.
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If anyone is interested in being in contact with you, they will find a way. If not, no need to worry about them.
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Would be interesting to hear why you are so negative to phone calls?
TBH given signal also works with phone numbers at least the hurdle to migration is lower than e.g. matrix.
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Iāve recently started migrating my communications from Telegram to Signal, but itās slow and hard work. And frankly, there are a few features of Telegram that Signal simply doesnāt support, such as the web client.
Whenever I get a WhatsApp message, I respond via SMS. But it doesnāt stick.