Thanks all for saying a few kind words. Made my day.
4 Likes
Hopefully youāll find suitable employment soon enough @afre
1 Like
Once I get something permanent, I can spend time in photography, Play Raw, etc., rather than just being an armchair conversationalist. 
@Brian_Innes Has the partial diagnosis helped any? I got a lot back in the day for my disabilities, but none of them benefitted my life or career prospects.
1 Like
@afre , the wishy washy partial diagnosis of a āFunctional Neurological Disorderā hasnāt really helped, but at least itās settled my mind that all the scary stuff has been ruled out. I suppose it is also helpful to have a diagnosis in case I start having issues at work.
That is how I approach it now with life and work. It may screen me out of certain opportunities, but you know what, I donāt want to work with toxic people anymore. Took me a long journey (decades) to realize and practice that.
3 Likes
About a year ago I started experiencing issues with my balance, hand coordination and speech. I did not fall but kept dropping and breaking things. I was quickly referred to a neurologist, had a spine & brain MRI, which found nothing (but ruled out a lot of scary stuff). Then EMG, tons of various blood test, again everything normal.
I had a honest discussion with my neurologist who told me that at that point we hit diminishing returns, and even though insurance was not a problem (I am in Europe) the protocol does not suggest additional workup unless I have more specific symptoms. It could be one of a gazillion of rare but mild neurological hereditary conditions, which are expensive to test for an have no cure anyway, a random virus, or whatever. We agreed on expectant management (āwait and seeā 
)
I kept exercising, eating healthy, and getting the maximum amount of rest I can get. The whole thing resolved spontaneously after 8 months, I am back to normal. When I went for a follow-up I was joking with the neurologist that it must be frustrating not to know what it was, but I was told that this is, in fact, common and actually the best outcome.
5 Likes
I have navigated some choppy conditions myself but came out golden - after about two years.
just before my 58th birthday, my long time employer (15 years) lost its biggest investor and it was visible the staff would be reduced radically. As I have always been a huge critic of the majority union in out company, I was sure I would end up on āthe listā and actively started looking around. I had three interviews during Summer 23 and ended up getting an (unsolicited) phone-call from a competitor, asking if I ācould imagine working for themā. I could, got a substantial rise in salary and a100% home office contract (different country)
Life was good, I āturnedā a number of clients and worked on new ones when my new employer got a new Sales-Director and that one asked me to stop my home office and move 1250 km east into a country I didnāt speak the language and work from the main offices. I was 59 and had no intention to do so. We separated (on good terms, I got āa very warm handshakeā as we say here) and was unemployed at age 59.
Russiaās war has changed the economy, there was more talk about cost reduction and lean efficiency than there was about expansion and hiring. Headhunters who had contacted me a year ago didnāt return my calls (really!)
My daily discipline was getting up early, check my mail, check all the job-portals I had subscribed to and AT THE VERY LEAST send out two applications before lunch break, then take a bit of time off, shop for groceries, ride the bike, go for a kayak tour or organize a shooting, then find another job opening and send at least one more application in the afternoon.
Initially I was looking for another career move, another step up the ladder with an even higher salary ā¦ but slowly, week after week, month after month, I looked into less appealing offers, many not even paying the salary I was already making ten years ago, just to get ANYTHING for fuckās sake.
Six months after being laid off and more than 300 applications sent, I was contacted by a major company from my branch because I followed them on LinkedIn and had subscribed to their Job-newsletter. Two video interviews within three days, an invitation for an interview on site (in a different country again, although one I speak the language). The contract came three days later via mail, 10 days after the initial contact.
I had to change the country again (right now the fourth one I am working in) and my weekend drive home is 800 km back and 800 km forth, but two months before my 60th birthday I got a job that pays more than twice what I was making in my old job two years ago. The task is challenging, I have to adapt and learn quick, but my old address- and contact-book comes in handy and I really feel valued by the team.
Change happens. Itās never easy, the road is bumpy but you have to soldier on. Else you will never reach your destination - and that destination might not be where you thought you were heading to ;o)
13 Likes
Great post for this thread. Thanks for sharing.
4 Likes
Update. So I got a new position, but learned that the contract was just 4 months long. On the posting, it was 11. 
I also attended another interview, but just before it, I received a call from HR saying that I would not be eligible for that one since I already accepted the former. New union rules, apparently. 
I did the interview anyway for practice and to learn about that division. Probably would have gotten it, but HR told me that even if I did, it would have also been 4 months. On the posting, it was a permanent position. 
On the bright side, the office is two blocks from my house. When I went there for the interview, there were two security officers placed at the front desk. Never seen that before. An issue with the area?
6 Likes
@afre Perhaps the guard was guarding the guard?
Sorry to hear that you have suffered such bait and switch tactics, Alan. Postings are sometimes accidentally inaccurate, but this sounds systemic. It has the appearance of HR changing the rules/shifting the goalposts/changing the length of the contracts on the basis of who they get. Which is the definition of discrimination.
I do hope that the 4-month contract is indeed fulfilling and good at bill-paying, but I empathise with the frustration you must feel.
@Brian_Innes Funny. It could be training or onboarding.
The reason for the security and multiple access points is that half the building apparently contains IT infrastructure.
@martin.scharnke Le sigh. It has been a pain since 2021; more than I can share here. Good thing is that I still have a job. Bad thing is that I am working out of a closet. I cannot believe the manager and team is given such a spot. Managers with a capital M are one step below executive level. What the heck!
I do have an upcoming interview for exactly the same position that I did four months ago but at a higher pay grade and permanent, so hopefully, they will take me back and not play more mind games on my poor heart.
7 Likes
Crossing my fingers for you getting the jobā¦
8 Likes
Nope.
I was unsuccessful, meaning that I did not pass the interview. Having held the function before, I should have at least entered a shortlist.
As for the position for which I am no longer eligible: the interview was successful. But according to the newly revised union agreement, which I verified, I can only compete for a position that is permanent or of a higher pay rate. So much for successfully completing the competition. They should have told me earlier. I am not even on a list.
That also greatly reduces the job calls I can consider and means that I may have trouble securing a position in time for the contract end date.
3 Likes
That is disappointing to hear, and I feel quite indignant by proxy.
Nevertheless, I hope something else arises for you that matches your skill set and where you are not played.
May this be your anthem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdJeaNnNG4c
3 Likes
It has been a while since I last heard this song. Thank you.
I am finding this thread quite relatable.
Over the last 2 years my life has been quite thoroughly uprooted - albeit partly of my own doing.
Moving countries (Australia to UK), falling in love, getting married, settling into a new home in the countryside with my lovely wife, and many other good things.
Yet in parallel, my mental health has steadily declined over the last year, to the point where I am currently unable to work to frequent panic attacks and extreme tiredness.
I started struggling when I took on a new job last year, about this time, but both I and those around me thought it was just initial stress that would pass as I grew into the role. It didnāt.
After pushing on regardless through the winter, my then fiancee and I took a 3 week holiday in April. I expected to come back to work feeling much better, but after couple of days back at work I had a complete breakdown. I probably would have ended up in hospital if one of my housemates (I was in a shared house at the time) hadnāt heard my sobs and come to ask if I was ok.
I then went on long term sick leave (unpaid), and started frantically looking for a new job with less stress. Cue more breakdowns.
Then I went back to my roots and started working self employed, a few days a week, as gardener.
This felt better, and I started pushing for more customers - then I broke again.
I canāt begin to describe the feeling of shame this all induced, as I was due to marry my beautiful, loving wife and I felt I was bringing so little to our life together.
Yet she, and her parents have given me nothing but kindness, as has our church community.
We had a beautiful wedding and a wonderful honeymoon, while my mental state has see-sawed from utter elation to frightening depths of despair, and anxiety that is as crippling as it is illogical.
Thatās the thing that has been so hard to recognize - itās not bad all the time. My mind struggles to understand how I can be perfectly OK one day and falling apart the next and concludes I canāt be trying hard enoughā¦ with, in hindsight, predictable results. (It makes it worse) Wanting to support my wonderful and hardworking wife in every way I can and finding that I canāt do so much of what I want to doesnāt help.
Iāve now been expressly told by my GP not to try to find work and that my only job is to get better. Iām blessed that we are just about OK financially, as entering poverty would be the last straw to my feelings of defeat. Iāve been referred to various services, (in waiting lists) and am seeing a therapist.
It feels a bit like Iāve hit the bottom and can start to see some light that isnāt built on false hopes.
Iām walking more, doing the housekeeping (or trying to 
) and generally trying to keep myself busy without exhausting the energy I have.
I hope this is ok to post here. I have found it encouraging to read other peopleās stories and know that I am not alone, so if this post does that for someone else Iām happy! Itās not easy to share but it seems to be important to be honest and vulnerable.
16 Likes
Steven, thank you for making yourself vulnerable - it take a lot of courage to bare your soul the way you have done. I honour you for taking the plunge to do so.
You are also indirectly indicating your trust and confidence in this community as a safe place to do this; once again, thank you.
Whilst everyoneās experience of stress and resilience to stress is unique to them, this is certainly worth doing, IMO. Your GP telling you that getting better is the only job for you seems to be very sound advice. You have had multiple significant life transitions - any one of those increases stress and impacts upon resilience; several simultaneously/near-simultaneously so much more!
It sounds like being (somewhat) tight for money and (getting towards) healthy is much better for you than having more money but regularly having stress beyond your coping threshold.
I mentioned several posts back that I took a large cut to my income for a much more fulfilling and less stressful job starting in January this year. My mental health is the best its been in a good 20 years as a result, and I wish for you similar improvement.
I am so glad that you have numerous supports: your wife, her parents, your church community, and therapy. Also (ahem) I hope you may find some support in this thread, however small. And do not hesitate to Direct Message either, if you wish, and/or seek a supportive phone/video call or other direct communication.
7 Likes
I sympathize with you. Hope your situation gets better soon.
ā
Iām sure your GP has already checked but have you done blood work to check vitamin D? Coming from Australia to the UK your body mustāve gone through a whirlpool of adaptation and even the UK gov recommends supplementing it in winter for everybody due to the lack of sunlight. Iām sure it wouldnāt be the only cause(conflicting evidence on low Vit D link to anxiety), and sorry if I am intruding, but Iāve gone through periods of similar symptoms and a lot of it was due to physical processes (UC).
Doctors are starting to find so many links between these heightened mental states of anxiety/depression and physical processes within the body, so it might be worth to take a look in that direction.
Again, sorry if I am intruding with unsolicited advice.
ā
Interesting tidbit: for low to medium grade depression walking is almost twice as effective as SSRIs in improving symptoms. Yet until a few years ago no psychiatrist prescribed walking to their patients.
1 Like