My father passed away this evening. After writing an eulogy for my dear friend @chroma_ghost, now I have to do one for my father. I actually wrote about him last year My father got me into photography.
My dad (Tommy) was larger than life. Although he had been dreadfully ill for most of my life, he didn’t let it get to him or diminish his life. In fact, he was always looking out for everyone, no matter who it was, keeping everyone’s spirits up and doing more for people than they did for him. There were lots of bad people preying on his generosity but that didn’t discourage him one bit. He was just being who he was: a decent and loving human being, who showed the world that goodness is not a weakness. I am not just giving him glowing reviews: I am going to have trouble being awesome like he was. That said, I know he is still proud of me.
Goodbye dad. I will try to be as strong, brave, gracious and generous as you were.
God grant you the time to grieve, the freedom to cry.
I remember your writing about him last year. Photography will likely become a trigger for you - of the good memories and the bitterness of loss.
Be gentle with yourself, and try to find an outlet for grief every day. Seek out a good listener, someone who can accompany you on this difficult journey without criticizing your thoughts, words or actions, but who can gently help pick you up when necessary.
I have buried or cremated many, many persons in my time as a pastor, especially in these last 11 years in Aged Care Chaplaincy: it’s never easy, no matter how long expected and how much preparation you have done, to grieve. But grieve you must. I lost my Godmother two weeks ago and - though she had been comatose and her death was a release from tenterhooks - my body still had physical reactions of grief.
If you wish to voice talk or direct-message, I’d be pleased to be a listener for you.
Dealing with loss is never easy and you have to mourn 2 at the moment. Don’t be afraid to cry and scream if you have to, but be strong when you need to be. If at all possible let someone else take care of you for a while.
It’s a tough one … and it took me about two years to get through with it when my father died. At first there are the thousand moments of thinking “Oh, that’s something I need to tell dad, he likes that stuff” and it hits you like a hammer swung at full force just half a second later.
Then comes a time where you adapt to the situation - but still miss him a lot. And finally you get to terms with it. After all - and you will hate me for this - it’s all good: the children bury their parents. Nature has foreseen it this way and the World keeps on turning, although yours has just stopped.
My condolences. Your father sounds like a wonderful person. I feel the same way about my mother, who died two years ago. I consider myself incredibly blessed to have been her behavior as something to strive toward. I’ve found that very comforting in the time since; I sincerely hope your memories of your father’s goodness do the same for you.
Very sorry to hear this, Afre. As others have said, allow yourself to grieve. And focus on all the things that made him a great Dad. Those memories will survive.
Sorry to hear about your loss @afre. When an old person passes away, it is like destroying a library. All the collected wisdom one has access to vanishes. Take care.
I’m sorry for your loss @afre. You have our condolences.
These times can certainly be trying and as @martin.scharnke has said, if you want someone to share with or just chat please don’t hesitate to reach out to me directly. I too would be happy to listen.
God grant you the time to grieve, the freedom to cry.
